My Mom

Thanksgiving took on a poignant and different meaning for us seven years ago as my Mom, Grace, went to be with our Lord and Savior, Jesus, on November 20th, 2000. That was the Monday before Thanksgiving that year.

Mom discovered she had cancer on October 27, 2000. The doctors proceeded to talk only of comforting care, not anything about procedures to stop or stunt the growing cancer. Although Grace had been ill all summer, she thought it was her osteoporosis or her bleeding ulcers that she had previously suffered from that were making her so uncomfortable. Advanced medical care to try to determine the cause of her suffering did not detect the cancer until that date. The fast growing cancerous tumor had already taken up most of her right lung and was now pushing on her spine so much that her spine actually looked like a question mark.

As the reality of the diagnosis set in, family members began to appear at our home one at a time that day. What were they looking for? Hope. They came one by one to seek the hope that we have confidence in. The hope that we were not afraid to share.

We grew up not really discussing our faith, although it was expected that you behave as a Christian. My Mom especially believed that people should know you're a Christian by the way you behaved (1 John), not just by what you said. She thought talk was cheap.

When we started to homeschool, a transformation took place in our home. We began to see that we didn’t have to live our lives as our parents did. Not out of disrespect for the way they raised us, but because they raised us in such a way as to have the confidence to do what we knew to be the right thing.

Our decision to homeschool had consequences for our extended families, not just our children. Our studies drove us deeper into His Word. We spent many hours on theological questions as the basis for all of our learning, trying to see things things through our Christian worldview.

We became more vocal about our faith. We taught our children to confidently discuss their faith without being argumentative or authoritative. In good Lutheran fashion we continually asked, "What does this mean?" We taught them to spot heresy by challenging what was said/written by comparing it to Scripture.

This made extended family members feel uncomfortable. Why couldn’t we just be like we were before? Why couldn't we just be quiet about matters of faith? Why did it take up so much of our time?

Mom had come from a long line of educators. Both her parents had been teachers. ALL of her aunts and uncles were teachers as well. I was supposed to carry on that tradition as I went to college and made “special education” my major. But that expectation of my Mom was dashed when I left college after my junior year. Although it delighted me to finally be teaching when it had been such a strong desire of mine earlier, my Mom could not share in that joy. She did not approve of our homeschooling, and she wasn’t going to debate it. She just commented on it often and did not allow me to comment back. And I did not force the issue out of respect for her.

As my family members gathered at our home that fall day they were seeking solice at this time of uncertainty, and another transformation began.

Busy, agonizing hours lay ahead of us. Now suddenly my family was able to freely discuss and share their faith openly. This bound us together at that time and focused us on the important issue of Jesus Christ's propitiative death on our behalf, because in the end, that's what it is all about.

This new way to interact sustained us as my father, Paul, suffered a major heart attack two days after Mom died. It sustained us as we handled all the details and got through the funeral and hospitalization of my Dad and all the other myriad details that follow a death.

There are three reasons I've shared this personal story here. First, because we still hear about familial opposition to a decision to homeschool. Although it's become a more accepted form of education, it still has real opposition as well. I wanted to share with you the hope that your extended families may also experience the transforming power of that decision. Only our Father in Heaven knows when or if. But hold fast, you are doing what is good, right and salutary.

Secondly, because I am so thankful to my parents for laying the foundation of faith in my life. They held fast to the promises they made on my behalf at my baptism and brought me regularly to church so I could learn about the Christian faith, they confessed their belief in the Apostle's Creed and taught it to me, they renounced the devil and all his evil words and ways on my behalf. My parents raised me to be a Christian. Moreover, my husband and I are raising our children to be Christians having made those same vows at their baptisms and watching two of them (the third is not quite old enough) make those same vows at their confirmations. (3 John 1:4) The difference is we're talking and sharing about it along the way.

And lastly, because I wanted to share about my Mom on this day and to say "I love you and I miss you, Mom."