Wesley, enjoying the feast now

My nieces' dad went to be with the Lord last night at 11:35 pm. His heroic battle against the cancer that wracked his body with pain is over.

Wesley married my sister, Pam, in 1971 right before my 10th birthday. Pam, 9+ years older than me, had been a run-away and for several months we didn't know where she was. When she resurfaced, she had a boyfriend, Wesley. My parents liked him immediately and so did I. He was affiable and had a great laugh and laughed often. It was such irony that Wesley was enlisted in the Army. You see, my dad was in the Air Force and we lived on base at the Air Force Academy. Pam was opposed to the war in Vietnam and protested loudly at our dinner table and in peaceful assemblies.

Wesley had what we used to call a priviledged upbringing in New York. That's not to say it was absent of strife. He dropped out of college to join the Army on purpose. It was his way to escape the expectations and lifestyle that was waiting for him post-collegiate. He ended up serving two terms in Vietnam. This was not something he talked about with others. And while you knew those experiences shaped him, it didn't crush him.* His resilence was impressive.

Wesley learned to be an electrician and steadily moved up in that profession while having two daughters with my sister, Terra and Elise. Then he and Pam divorced in 1983. Pam's life devolved into serious drug use and spiraled out of control for a long time. It's better for her now.

I've always respected Wesley immensely that three very personal situations highlight, but they're somewhat sensitive so I won't go into them here; but let me say that his compassion and love for his daughters was and is very moving. In each of those very difficult situations, he put his daughters well-being first.

Wesley was a man who lived as he believed and there was no guessing how he felt about a situation. His honesty was a very prevelent part of his life. Not that he was wont to tell you his opinion on any given matter. He kept his opinions to himself unless prodded to share them.

Wesley was much beloved by his brother, David, and his three sisters, as well as his lovely wife, Iris, and his two daughters, Terra and Lisa, and their families.

One of my favorite things about Wesley was just how much he enjoyed life. You could especially recognize this about him whenever he was enjoying the "outdoors" whether it was in San Antonio hill country, or the Rocky Mountains, and at a family or holiday meal. Whenever we had a family or holiday meal, you could always count on Wesley to appreciate all the work that went into preparing special food for the occasion. I'll always remember his grateful and thankful expression, "Feast!" (How sad that cancer robbed him of enjoying food these last several weeks of his life.)

So, feast on my brother. You will be missed. You are loved.

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and well-wishes. Please continue to pray for Iris and Terra and Elise.


*I pray that those reading this will not think a condemnation of those who struggle after serving in a war, especially Vietnam. It breaks my heart for those who have given so much for our country only to be rejected and looked down upon as they come to terms with their experiences and try to battle their demons from war.